#firststep by: Deborah Ard #mustardseedfaith by: Julie Wicker

#firststep by: Deborah Ard
I enjoy writing and writing for God is my passion. God has instilled in me a dream of one day writing a book. I had planned on working more intently on writing for my book this summer. But I haven’t. I had intentions of writing a blog post at least once or possibly twice a month this year. But I haven’t. In fact this is my first post since January.

I feel guilty and am ashamed that I have held back from things I love. I know it sounds silly and so simple. Why didn’t I just write? Was it due to lack of time? No, we make time for what is important to us. Was it due to lack of things to write about? No, God always provides His content. Was it because others don’t support me? No, I have a wonderful support group of family and friends. Then, why in the world have I not written in so long?
I have been surrendering to fear. That is hard for me to say and especially difficult for me to write.
Fear: be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
You may ask, why in the world I would be afraid to write. For me, writing is cathartic. Writing is my way of processing my life and talking with God. Through writing He gives me new understandings and insights. And writing is how I deal with my feelings. So if I write, I have to deal with and face my feelings.
This past school year was a difficult school year for me. It was my 19th year as a classroom teacher and it was the hardest year I have ever had. Sure, over the years there have been difficult students, parents, or situations. But this year there was a combination of all of the above and so much more. It was so difficult that I do not know how to put into words to adequately explain. I have shared the burdens of my year verbally with many, but I have yet to write about it. There are so many separate stories that happened throughout the year. I do not want to go into depth about those stories now, but I want you to have an adequate picture so you may better understand my fear.
Through much prayer and guidance I remained in kindergarten last year. And because I knew without a shadow of doubt that God wanted me where I was, I had high hopes of the life changing year God had in store for me. So as the days and weeks progressed and the year became more and more difficult, I doubted my reasons for being where I was. Why was I there? What did God want me to do? What good would come from this? I will not delve into those questions right now, but I want you to understand the depth of my frustration. As a result of my situation, I felt unable to write. I felt that because I was struggling so that God couldn’t use me. I felt I was in the middle of a trial and that because of that, I would not be able to be His vessel. I was afraid I would be perceived as a phony and a hypocrite. As I type those words, I know how silly they may sound but it was a debilitating fear. I think I was in denial that it was fear keeping me from writing. But today, this morning, God has spoken to me clearly through scripture and my devotion time with Him. He has reminded me not to fear and that I am not alone.
“But now, this is what the Lord says-he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: ‘Do not, fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. ‘”
Isaiah 43: 1-2 NIV
Did you hear that? Do NOT fear! As I look back over my journal from this last school year, I see the evidence of God’s presence through it all. In later posts, He may have me share some of the winks He gave me along the way. But for now, just know that God is bigger than whatever we fear. He is stronger that the current of the water that is whirling around our feet. And He is the fire retardant that envelops us when fire surrounds us. No matter what difficulties we are facing or walking through, He is with us and He can use us for His good. Today I ask you to prayerfully consider these questions; what fear is God calling you to face? What steps can you prayerfully take to face that fear? How can God use you through your fear? What is the first step you need to take?
You are reading my first step to overcoming fear. As God continues to give me the courage to write, may the words He gives me be used for His glory. Thank you for your part in helping me overcome my fear. Thank you for reading as He works on me! I am praying for you to now have the courage to take your first step!

#Prayer #mustardseedfaith by: Julie Wicker

Father,
We come to you with a heart of worship and a song of praise. Your words give us the confidence we need to step out when things look stormy, when we are broken, when we just want to give up which is exactly what the devil wants us to do. But rather you have summoned us by name and give us a new hope to walk by faith and not by sight when we can’t see the way. Help is all to realize our fears, to step out from those fears, and exercise our faith today. You say we just need the faith of a mustard seed to move mountains. We all desire that faith. Thank you for your living and active word and your Holy Spirit to guide us.
In the name of Jesus
Amen

#worshipwithus   Walk on Water by: Britt Nicole